Wednesday's Random Slang-o-rama: Chicken scratch (by DMcC)

Please give three cheers for the return of my assistant Slang-o-rama-ist, Devyn McC! Devyn is a designer-editor-cartoonist, currently lurking near Portland, OR. 

Examples of Devyn’s work can be found at this here link and in the Slang-o-Rama archive.

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Recently I was browsing a certain bird-themed app when I came across what has become one of my favorite accounts yet: @KidsWriteJokes, which publishes “genuine joke attempts by children” … many of which are genuinely strange! These include brand-new, never-before-seen jokes:

 (I can appreciate a comedian who’s emotionally honest. Source: https://twitter.com/kidswritejokes/status/917292905357864960)

As well as new takes on old classics… 

 (The whims of a chicken are a mysterious force indeed. Source: https://twitter.com/kidswritejokes/status/1102701521005879297)

All this fowl humor reminded me of a certain tidbit of slang that’s been wandering around my mind: chicken scratch! As someone with chronically illegible lettering (y’all are lucky this blog is typed and not handwritten), I found myself wondering about the origins of this peck-uliar phrase.

Let’s see what we can dig up. 

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Starting with the steadfast Merriam Webster, chicken scratch (the noun) is defined as: “an illegible or scarcely legible mark intended as handwriting.” While I didn’t find definitive evidence, most likely the term arose due to the visual similarity between illegible text and the messy footprints of a hungry chicken. (For a fine example, check out this video of chickens scratching / dancing for grubs: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AD37ka9NIUg)

In my poking and pecking around for etymology, I did find Green’s Dictionary of Slang noted that chicken scratch—as well as the variations chicken tracks and hen tracks—are of American origin, and have been recorded in use as far back as 1854. Here are a few actual quotes that had me cluckling—I mean, chuckling: 

• An 1870 issue of the Lawrence Daily Journal (KS): “A stranger, who happened to see some of the aforeseaid prairie chicken tracks upon the unprinted manuscript, innocently inquired if the writer was one of the sufferers in the recent railroad accident.” 
• An 1882 issue of the Salt Lake Herald (UT): “The horny-fisted old chicken tracks of farmer Jones when placed at the business end of a cheque.” 
• An 1885 Bulletin from Sydney, Australia: “‘What do you think of my handwriting, and would you advise me to change it?’ […] Think you should employ another hen to scratch for you.”

To be fair, I’m sure a chicken would make a fine employee—I hear they’re great at Egg-cel spreadsheets.

According to Wiktionary, a number of other languages also have feathery phrases for bad handwriting, including: 

• German Krähenfüße (“crow’s feet”) 
• Vietnamese chữ như gà bới (“like letters by a chicken”) 
• Russian как ку́рица лапой (“like a chicken’s foot”) 
• Polish jak kura pazurem (“like a chicken with a claw”) 
• Finnish harakanvarvas (“magpie toe”)

While the species and language vary, I think these bits o’ slang point to a universal truth: birds have pretty poor penmanship.

If you’re interested in more chicken humor, @KidsWriteJokes is a great place to start, as well as this post on the origins of the classic “why did the chicken cross the road?” by the punny and insightful newsletter Under the Henfluence. (UtH has many other fascinating chicken-related musings, including stories of chickens traveling to unexpected places.)

One final tidbit: the Oxford Dictionary notes that chicken scratch is also the name of a “type of dance music originating among the Pima and Tohono O'odham peoples of the Sonoran desert region of the United States and Mexico, blending European and Mexican influences and adapted from the polka.” Here’s an example of a chicken scratch tune—also called “Waila”—to delight your ears:

I hope that puts some pep in your step!