
For more about Jane and her books, visit Jane’s website
and her Facebook page. She also blogs and occasionally tweets.
---------------------------------
![]() |
What in the world are "kitten britches?" Image by Edwin Valencia from Pixabay |
As a writer, I love words, and I realized my Southern heritage had bequeathed a goldmine to me.
When I started writing my Grace Street Mystery Series, I knew I wanted one of the characters to be what we in the South call a Good Old Boy. A Good Old Boy is a big old friendly fellow you can always count on if your tractor breaks down or you need help moving heavy furniture or getting the crop in. You can find them hanging around gas stations and repair shops, chewing tobacco and having a beer or two, chatting about hunting and fishing. This type of man often looks deceptively slow but has a razor sharp wit and a fondness for Southern slang. My Good Old Boy is Rufus Jackson and he’s one of the tenants in Camden’s boarding house at 302 Grace Street in the fictional city of Parkland, NC.
![]() |
Happy goat! Image by christels from Pixabay |
My mother had two favorites that I borrowed. One is “He’s as happy as a goat eatin’ briars.” (My brother raises goats, and they are happy eating anything.) The other is “It’s a poor dog that don’t bury a bone.” I think she wanted her children to prepare for the future!
I’m sure most of you have heard “The porch light’s on but nobody’s home” to describe someone who might not be very smart. “Not enough buckwheat in his pancakes” or “A pickle short of a jar.” There are so many sayings like this I couldn’t list them all.
- “He’s so dumb, he couldn’t find his ass with both hands in his back pockets.”
- “Her cornbread ain’t cooked in the middle.”
- “He’s got a hole in his screen door.”
- “She’s parked too far from the curb.”
- “His belt don’t go through all the loops.”
- “Got a hole in her screen door.”
- “The cheese done slid off her cracker.”
- “If brains were dynamite, he wouldn’t have enough to blow his nose.”
- “He’s three gallons of crazy in a two gallon bucket.”
- “She’s so tall, if she fell down she’d be halfway home.”
- “He’s so stingy he wouldn’t give you air out of a jug.”
- “She’s so cross-eyed, when she cries the tears roll down her back.”
- “He’s so narrow-minded, he can look through a keyhole with both eyes at the same time.”
- “She’s so late, she’d hold up a two-car funeral.”
- “I’m so hungry I could eat a raw dog backwards” or “I’m so hungry I could eat the stuffin’ out of a rag doll.” (Neither option sounds appealing.)
- “I’m so poor I can’t afford to pay attention.”
- “There’s so much food here it’s more than I can say grace over.”
- “I’m gonna slap you so hard when you quit rollin’ your clothes’ll be outta style.”
As for “Kitten britches,” this is one my Mother always used. After a storm, if you see enough blue sky to make a pair of kitten britches, then the storm is over.
If you have a favorite saying, I’d love to hear it. Perhaps Rufus will use it in a future Grace Street adventure. And be careful if you’re having too much fun because “Sometimes whee is a rat in your pocket.”
1 comment:
Thanks so much for your post, Jane! as you know, I love slang, and you certainly gave me a bucketful of new expressions to ponder and enjoy.
I think my favorites from your lists are:
“The cheese done slid off her cracker.”
“He’s three gallons of crazy in a two gallon bucket.”
and, of course...
"Kitten britches!" (I would've never guessed the meaning of this one. I thought it was a euphemism for something stronger...)
Post a Comment