Wednesday's Random (NOT) Slang-o-rama: Paraprosdokias

Because I'm facing down a deadline and kind of forgot (!!) that this is Wednesday, I am featuring something a little fun and different forwarded to me by author buddy and dear friend, Camille Minichino.

I have never heard of paraprosdokias. Have you? Prepare to be educated!

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The following are paraprosdokias—a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence is unexpected and oft times humorous: 

• If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they'd eventually find me very attractive. 
• Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool, so I gave him a glass of water.
•  Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
• I'm great at multitasking, I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.
• If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame. 
• Take my advice — I'm not using it.
• Hospitality is the art of making guests feel like they're at home when you wish they were.
• Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
• Ever stop to think and forget to start again?
• He who laughs last thinks slowest.
• Is it wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly?
• I was going to give him a nasty look, but he already had one. 
• Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. 
• I was going to wear my camouflage shirt today, but I couldn't find it. 
• If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. 
• If tomatoes are technically a fruit, is ketchup a smoothie?
• Money is the root of all wealth.

Paraprosdokias to tickle your funny bone.
Image by StockSnap from Pixabay